So Hard

Today, right now, I am supposed to be working.

I took the day off. Why? I was feeling off.

Everything has become so routine. So normal.

When I don’t spend time like I should or want to with Him.

I’m realizing on paper what I already knew about myself, but never confronted.

I’m a naturally loving person. Meaning I tend to fall in love easily even when that person isn’t doing me right. I give chance after chance.

Simply because I love.

Sometimes loving someone is simply letting go. Letting go of the expectations. Letting go of ‘what ifs’. Just completely letting go of the situation. Leaving it up to God to move how He wants without expecting it’ll be how I want it to be.

I must continue to trust that He loves me. And that He knows the desires of my heart and what’s best for me.

Thankfully He loves me in spite of myself.

God is love.