Change

New.

That word takes literally meaning to my life. Everything is new. New state. New car. New mindeset. New opportunities.

For the first time in about 4 months, I actually spoke to the guy on the phone yesterday. He had text me, I’m assuming to make sure it was me a little before this, on April 25. We talked on the phone for about 2 hours. It was awesome. Missed him and it didn’t help.

Now after he told me to call him back, YESTERDAY, I’ve called twice and text about different things since and I’m just assuming now he just doesn’t want to talk anymore. His life is going a whole lot better. I asked him what had changed when he text me and he said nothing.

When I talked to him it was clear a LOT has changed! For the better thankfully. I’m happy for him. Unfortunately, he has legal issues that affect his freedom, but I’m praying for grace from God on this. Nothing I can do.

I know I don’t want to act childish like I usually did. As far as since I didn’t get what I wanted by talking to him again.

I laid around all doggone day feeling sick. Not literally, you know like when you crushing on someone and you finally talk and it’s like no time has passed though it has.

Sigh.

I got up and took a shower and here I am.

It’s now 10pm. I was laying down literally most of the day. Just decided it does nothing for me to sit around not being productive. I cant afford it. Time is too precious and I wasted the whole day.

Thank you Lord for being so patient with me.

I’m ready.