Turning Around

Been a while since I’ve wrote in this. So much has happened. Changed.

Right now I’m struggling with speaking what God says about me. About my situation.

I still get upset with myself when I think back on some of the stupid mistakes I’ve made. Like. You knew better and you still didn’t do anything different.

I want more. I want different, so I’m not going to remain here. This place of self-preservation in a sense. Going back to familiar. My woe is me kinda attitude. I will be more than I was. God has already forgiven me and I have forgiven myself. (Cause it won’t always be like this. Sooner or later it will turn in my favor.) Song is playing right now. Turning Around by Vashawn Mitchell.

Usually I read a few days or so ahead of what I’m typing to see what was going on. I don’t want to even do that right now. Not today.

I thank you Lord for allowing me the opportunity to be here. Thank you for helping me get it right. Thank you for loving me even, as Pastor says, when I was stuck on stupid and parked on dumb. (He didn’t say this to me! He just says this sometimes)

Thank you for allowing me to get my house in order. Thank you for giving a clean heart. A renewed mind. The ability to trust you in all things.

Humble is the way.

Basically sums up my total thoughts right now. I am blessed and I am thankful. I am not perfect and shouldn’t expect what I am unable to give from someone else.