Trust Issues

I can’t really explain the feeling I’m feeling right now. Kinda a numb feeling mixed with a peace, with a little of anticipation and a little bit of expectancy. This is all because the last couple days I’ve been in a great place. Believing God for what He has for me, etc. etc.

I was asked by my male friend if I could look up car rental prices. Okay. Last time we used Firefly.

Had an extremely long wait time, but overall decent experience. I remembered there was a coupon for money off so I had been searching for it. I finally found it and then continued to search through to find a decent priced vehicle.

Somehow, because I wasn’t intentionally looking for it, I noticed the mileage.

For mileage out is says 10344. For the return mileage or mileage in, its 10444. I know for a fact that Los Angeles is already over 300 miles from here being I see the signs coming home from the highway.

I was told he went to drop his daughter and granddaughter off in Los Angeles.

So something aint right.

I text him asking to explain because it doesn’t look good from what I see. All this just shows me is I can’t trust him. Why would you lie about that and then expect me to get you another vehicle?

Um no…..

I thank you Lord for clarity. For truth. I will not tolerate lying as I don’t tolerate it from a child and shouldn’t have to from a grown man. I hope he lets me know something soon because. Well. Yeah. I need to know something.

……continued from today….

He called me. We discussed. I got emotional, but hopefully he didn’t notice. Basically he was offended. He said I should call them and verify if I needed proof. I originally declined because I didn’t feel I should have to do that. I eventually did though. Results? Same.

The rep checked and checked and he said it looks pretty accurate. I already prayed about this because I sincerely hoped that he wouldn’t lie to me. I’m in an in between place right now. As in why shouldn’t I believe who has the info but why shouldn’t I be able to trust him. Really sad.

Not about to stress about it. Whatever happens, happens.

I’m just not wanting to be bothered with him right now because even if this gets worked out what is there to look forward to?

We don’t talk!

It has been almost a year since we met and actually started dating. I can’t even say dating. Dating to me is getting to know someone.

We don’t do anything.

All he seems to have interest in is having sex.

Issues? He basically just dismisses as quickly as possible to avoid actually really discussing it. Now that I look back I can see that maybe I should have just thought more about it and then prayed for confirmation on what I was thinking.

I’m not the best communicator I admit. My timing most definitely is some times off. I didn’t claim perfection. I am working on getting better. I am better than I was before though. I used to jump to conclusions and leave it at that. What I thought was what it was, whether it was or not.

Thank you Lord for progress.

….Wow 30 minutes ago I was on here. I did a devotional online. All I can say is wow. Wow.

The devotional was from BibleStudyTools.com

El Elyon, God Most High - Daily in Your Presence - July 21

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalm 91:1

FROM THE FATHER’S HEART

My child, when gusty winds blow around you. I’ll make your foundation strong. I’ll rebuild your courage and strengthen your might when everything goes wrong. I’ll repair the broken places and fill the gaping holes. Your job is to live under the shelter of My wings. When you do that, I, the Most High God, will cast My shadow over you, and you will find blessed rest. Just because I love you, My child, I will do this.

A GRATEFUL RESPONSE

Like an eagle spreading its wings to shade her offspring, You spread Your arms and protect me. There, I rest under Your shadow, away from the scorching heat of the sun, protected from the eyes of stalking enemies. You are El Elyon, the God Most High. With You, I am safe.

SIMPLE TRUTH

Trust is knowing that God will allow into my life only the things that will be for my ultimate good.

Not only is it speaking to my thoughts and current situation, it also has the infamous 9:11

Wow.