Protect my Heart

Psalms 145:18-19

Wow. This time again.

Each year it seems I’m amazed at new information I find out about myself.

I scream loudly that I want to do better, to be a better person. But do I really?

Man it’s hard to change.

Especially dealing with something that sometimes daily challenges everything you’re working towards.

Anger has been a big deal to me most of my life.

I’ve used it as a way to relieve stress. I used it a lot when my emotions were out of control, as in being confused and crying, not knowing what to do.

Anger allowed me to have some type of control.

Eventually because there was so much hurt, pain, and confusion, I started sticking to anger as a cure all. I didn’t want to feel anything.

I wanted to be numb.

I didn’t drink. I didn’t smoke. I had nothing to numb my pain. Enter anger.

Fighting became my drug.

It became my way of saying, you have a lot of authority and control over me, but not all of it.

Philippians 2:3

Jeremiah 29:11